The Biggest Wedding Mistake Isn’t What You Think

Why Most Wedding Problems Start Long Before the Wedding Day

By Vaibbhav Arora, Founder, Ikigaii Planners

Most couples think the biggest wedding mistake is choosing the wrong venue.

It’s not.

Others think it’s overspending, picking the wrong photographer, or not starting early enough.

But after years of planning weddings across Dubai, the UAE, India and beyond, I’ve realised something very different.

The biggest wedding mistake usually happens before the venue is even booked.

It’s starting the planning process in the wrong order.

The excitement trap

You get engaged.

Everyone is excited.

Parents start discussing guest lists.

Friends start sending venue recommendations.

Instagram starts showing you wedding inspiration every five minutes.

And naturally, most couples jump straight into venues, décor and Pinterest boards.

The problem?

Nobody has stopped to answer the most important question:

What do we actually want this wedding to feel like?

Because until you know that, every decision afterwards becomes harder.

The order I wish more couples followed

If I could redesign the planning process, it would look like this:

1. Vision

2. Event Planner

3. Budget

4. Venue

5. Guest Experience

Most couples do the exact opposite.

They start with the venue.

And that’s usually where the problems begin.

Why I put the planner before the budget

This surprises people.

Most assume budget comes second.

I don’t.

Because most couples are planning a wedding for the first time.

How would they know what things realistically cost?

How would they know where to spend more and where to save?

A good planner doesn’t just tell you the numbers.

They help you understand how those numbers work together.

That’s very different.

Families aren’t the problem

Families don’t create challenges because they care too much.

They create challenges because they’re looking at the wedding through a different lens.

Parents might prioritise tradition.

The couple might prioritise experience.

Friends might prioritise entertainment.

Nobody is wrong.

The challenge is making sure the wedding still feels like the couple’s wedding at the end of it.

The sword that almost wasn’t there

One of my favourite wedding stories involves a ceremonial sword.

In a Punjabi wedding, both families had slightly different understandings of when the ritual would take place.

The sword had been arranged for the following day.

The ritual suddenly needed it that evening.

Not ideal.

For about thirty seconds.

The groom stepped in, explained the misunderstanding, and we immediately worked with the hotel to source an alternative ceremonial sword.

The ceremony continued.

Nobody remembers the panic.

They remember the celebration.

And that’s usually how weddings work.

Weddings don’t run smoothly because nothing goes wrong.

They run smoothly because someone knows how to adapt when it does.

My Vaibbhav Thought

Luxury isn’t about having more.

It’s about having clarity.

Clarity about what matters.

Clarity about what doesn’t.

And clarity about the experience you’re trying to create.

Final Thought

The couples who enjoy their wedding the most are rarely the ones trying to control every detail.

They’re usually the ones who:

• Have a clear vision
• Make informed decisions
• Allow themselves to be present

Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to create a perfect wedding.

The goal is to create a wedding you’ll actually remember enjoying.

If you’re currently planning your wedding and feeling pulled in ten different directions, take a step back.

Start with the vision.

Everything else becomes much easier after that.

And if you’d like help bringing clarity to the process, I’m always happy to have a conversation.